Orthodox Complementarianism

I'm a firm believer in Orthodox complementarian theology when it comes to the roles of the Christian man and woman and their roles in the married life. 

Orthodox Complementarianism recognizes the reality of the world we live in and that the relationship between man and woman is complimentary, whether that be in the procreative act, the dignity of persons, and it also takes into account the natural and social order Christianity has always taught.

Men and women are equal in Christ as far as it goes regarding salvation. However, we are unequal. And that is not a bad thing. Rather, it is something we should be embracing because it is beautiful. Males and females possess strengths in areas that the other gender does not naturally do well on their own. To suggest otherwise is to completely ignore the created and natural order of things which feminism and egalitarianism ultimately do when it comes to Christian theology. By denying the natural order for the unnatural, it is a failed theological position. Complementary theology however does not fall in this category. 

In Orthodox complementary theology, women are precluded from certain roles in the Church like priest or bishop but they are still held to be equal in moral value and of equal status. A phrase often used to describe this is that we’re “ontologically equal, functionally different”.

Complementarianism assigns the primary headship role to men because of Adam and Christ and supportive roles to women based on their interpretation of certain biblical passages about Eve, Mary, the Church, and the Church Fathers. 

We find many women saints in the bible and in the Orthodox Church that have assisted men in decision making processes before and that’s fine. Ladies may assist in the decision-making process (and I encourage the ladies to do so because we men can be knuckleheads sometimes lol), the ultimate authority for the decision is the males to make when in marriage and the Church. It should be taught that men and women are absolutely equal in dignity, made in the image and likeness of God, while masculinity and femininity each contribute something unique to humanity, with this contribution able to manifest itself in diverse ways with male headship in the home and the Church.

The roles in marriage continue traditional gender roles that have always been in place. For example, the husband has the God-given responsibility to provide for, protect, respect, and lead his family while the wife is to collaborate with her husband, respect him, be his helper in managing the household, and nurturing the next generation. The Bible instructs husbands to lead their families as Head of Household, to love their wives as Christ loves the Church and instructs wives to respect their husbands’ leadership out of reverence for Christ. The husband is also meant to hold moral accountability for his wife and to exhibit a sacrificial love for her and this also works vice versa for the wife to the husband since it takes two to tango in a marriage. 

I’d argue Protestant complementarianism has some problems and most of that stems from sola scriptura abusing the texts of Paul many times whereas the RCC and the EO have the Church to make a more solid foundation on this issue. While RCC and Orthodoxy would seem to come down firmly on the ‘complementarian’ side of the divide on the two key defining issues of that debate—Orthodox clergy are all male and upholds the Pauline ‘headship’ of the husband—there are also aspects of RCC and Orthodoxy that both glorify and exalt holy women to such a degree that distinguishes it from most other strands of complementarianism.

For example: 

• The highly exalted place of the Theotokos in the life of the Church and her theological significance. 
• The lives of female Saints and their veneration. 
• A developed, robust, apostolic theology of singleness which doesn’t erroneously (or mercilessly) elevate marriage above virginity 
• A complementarian theology devoid of these features listed runs increased risks of abusive male domination and chauvinism, as well as a penchant for leaving single people high-and-dry in their spiritual struggles. 
• Some of the key NT texts most commonly cited to prove this are Gal. 3:28, Eph. 5:22–33, 1 Cor. 11:3–15; 14:34–35, 1 Pet. 3:1–7, and 1 Tim. 2:9–15; 3:2,12 (which I have listed below Church Fathers to prove my point on complimentary theology). 

Having only really sola scriptura to work with can lead to stupid things like people following the Red Pill and mixing woman or man hating ideologies and abuse comes through that spiritually and physically and mentally with their "brand" of Christianity and you don't want that.

Below here are some scriptures backing up complimentary theology and a few quotes Church Fathers have to say on the subjects of marriage and the roles of men and women. Complimentary theology just works and is the right way to think about the role of man and woman in marriage and in the Orthodox Church.
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[Gal. 3:28] “There’s neither Jew nor Greek, nor bound nor free, there’s neither male nor female: for you’re all one in Christ Jesus”. 

St. John Chrysostom: Ye are all one in Christ Jesus; that is, you have one form…that of Christ.

St. Maximos the Confessor: The human race, having the power to naturally unite every division at the mid-point of every extreme, was last introduced into the world of beings as a sort of natural link,…in itself bringing into one all things that are segregated in nature,…so as to unite everything in a comprehensive unity in God – as Cause. Humanity has its own division (male and female), but in its dispassionate relationship with divine virtue, there’s no division… Thus did the incarnate Jesus cancel the difference between male and female; for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. With our complete nature, He united it all, having demonstrated the convergence of the entire creation into one, in Himself, according to His own most sovereign and complete Rationale (Logos), which is entirely undivided and unsevered. And He first united us in himself by the removal of the difference male and female; and, in place of men and women, He properly and truly exhibited just human beings – entirely transfigured to become like Him and bearing His integral and completely authentic image (icon)… Thus did He divinely recapitulate everything in Himself, having shown the entire creation to exist as one… Now the whole creation can reveal itself as having one and the same wholly undifferentiated rationale based on its Creator. 

[Eph. 5:21–33] “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband’s the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he’s the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church: For we’re members of his body, of his flesh and his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. 

St. Jerome: Let bishops and priests hear this, let every rank of learning get this clear: In the Church, leaders are servants. Let them imitate the apostle. The difference between secular and Christian leaders is that the former love to be lords over their subordinates whereas the latter serve them. 

St. Symeon the New Theologian: See how he shows us that, just as Eve was taken from the flesh and bones of Adam and the two were one flesh, so also Christ gives Himself to us to the extent of communion of His flesh and bones… From the same flesh and bones he gives us to eat, and through this communion makes us, too, one with Him. Again the apostle, wanting to make Gods’ contact with us absolutely clear, adds, ‘For this reason shall man leave his father and mother’ meaning that he leaves them for the sake of Christ, ‘and shall cleave to his wife’, that is, the Church, ‘and the two shall be into one flesh [Gen 2:24]’, clearly, he means the flesh of Christ God. And to show the text is to be interpreted in this sense, and that we don’t arrive at this meaning through forced reasoning, the apostle adds, ‘This mystery is great; but I speak in regard to Christ and in regard to the Church’ [Eph 5:32]. Truly, therefore, this mystery is great! – and beyond great! – and so it’ll always be, because the same sort of communion, and union, and intimacy, and kinship, which the woman has with the man and the man with the woman, such – understood in a manner adequate to God and as transcending our reason – is the relation which the Master and Maker of all has with all the Church, as with a single Woman: blameless, ineffably, inseparably, and indivisibly united to her, being and living with her as with the one whom he loves and holds dear. Thus in turn the Church, united to her most dear God, joins herself to Him as the whole body to its own head. As a body cannot live at all without being attached to its head, then neither can the Church of the faithful – I say, rather, of the sons of God whose names are inscribed in the heavens – in any way be a proper and whole body for God without her Head, Christ God Himself, nor can she live the true and imperishable life without being fed by Him with her daily and substantial Bread. From the latter comes life and growth into the ‘perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of the Christ [Eph. 4:13]’ for all those who love Him. 

St. Chrysostom on Ephesians 6:5: “’With fear and trembling’. He doesn’t require the same fear from slaves as from wives… Whereas in this case he heightens the expression, ‘with fear and trembling’. …If I charge the wife to fear and reverence her husband, although she’s equal in honor, much more must I so speak to the servant. It’s no sign of low birth, rather is it the first nobility, to understand how to lower ourselves, to be moderate, and to give way to our neighbor. And the free have served the free with much fear and trembling. ‘In simplicity of your heart’. ‘Show’, says he, ‘that thou serves as “the slave of Christ”, not as of man. Make the right action your own, not as one of compulsion.’”. 

[1 Cor. 11:3–15] “But I’d have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonors his head. But every woman that prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head: for that’s even all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he’s the image and glory of God: but the woman’s the glory of the man. For the man’s not of the woman; but the woman’s of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels. Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God. Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered? Doesn’t even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it’s a shame unto him? But if a woman has long hair, it’s a glory to her: for her hair’s given her for a covering. 

Chrysostom: Elsewhere Paul says, “the husband is head of the wife, as also the Christ is head of the Church, and is Himself savior of the body [Eph 5:23]”; so also ought the husband be of his own wife – head, savior, and defender. 

[1 Pet. 3:1–7] “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered”.

St. Bede: It must be noted blessed Peter desires good and upright women to be subject to unbelieving husbands with this condition, that not only do they do nothing evil at their command but also remain invincibly constant in so chaste a way of life that they may be able to be an example of chastity and faith even to these men. 

St. Jerome: The Apostle Peter had experience of the bonds of marriage. See how he fashions the Church, and what lesson he teaches Christians.. He challenges the husbands to imitate their wives, because he’s already given them commandment, ‘after they’ve watched your pure behavior which is in fear’. …You see what kind of wedlock he enjoins. Husbands and wives are to dwell together according to knowledge, so that they may know what God wishes and desires, and give honor to the weaker vessel, woman…

[1 Tim. 2:9-15] “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, gold, pearls, or costly array; But (which becomes women professing godliness) with good works. Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety”. 

“A bishop must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach;” [1 Tim 3:2]. 

“Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well” [1 Tim 3:12].

St. Ambrose: If the woman was to be the first one to sin, the fact that she was the one destined to bring forth redemption mustn’t be excluded from the operations of divine providence. Although, ‘Adam wasn’t deceived, but the woman, having been deceived, hath come to be in transgression,’ yet woman, we’re told, ‘shall be saved through the childbearing’, in the course of which she generated Christ.

St. Chrysostom: He says that they’ll have no small reward on account of their children, but exceedingly great because they trained athletes for Christ. By holiness he means a godly life, modesty, and sobriety… Fathers and mothers may be benefited by the virtue of their children… Therefore this doesn’t pertain to any woman, but of the virtuous woman that it’s said that she shall receive a great recompense for this also.

Blessed Theophact: Not childbearing alone, but also rearing them up… It’s evident that a woman being virtuous is raising her children in virtue. Now if a virgin is being virtuous, doubtless she’s being saved… Since the woman has been hindered from teaching,… if she desires to be teaching, let her teach the children. But some say that the childbearing means that of the Theotokos. For she gave birth to the Savior, saving, they say, the women.